Music of choice: “Non-Toxic” by SR-71 off of Kim’s Mix mixed by the loving man that is Peter

Well it’s over the last day…PLAY BY PLAY
Firstly I accidentally punched Josh in the mouth in the armory
Then Mrs. Austin wasn’t there and had Oliver for HR but before I went there I wanted to give Lauren these lil roses but I’m use to Lauren wearing the dark colors and I accidentally gave them to Catherine(I was running on 3 hours worth of sleep please forgive me) Next we (Catherine, Peter, Lauren and me) watched Pleasantville (good movie) After that there was lunch and the BIRD like was driving me nuts with his constant back and forth movements. He makes me blush so I like him to be in one spot. We took load of pictures. Josh and Liz tried to throw me in a Trashcan. Then I watched the Mummy returns with Q. Then after that I told Kendra Neal off. Then I just sat around and watched everyone talk with there friends…I wanted to memorize the atmosphere that vibe of pure unchecked happiness…I wanted to memorize faces and take photos in my mind of that day. Around this time I started to feel very emotionally tried. Then The bell rang and I just wanted to leave before I started crying, but Peter caught me in the courtyard and hugged me and I just wanted to bawl but I tried to keep it together. I cried a little on the first bus and forced myself to compose myself. Then I got on the second bus and sat with Justin on the ride home…he would be the boy I talked about yesterday. He leaned back on me using my chest as a pillow and wrapping my arms around him. I held him the entire ride he kissed my arms once in a while and would snuggle and I was trying to memorize his warmth and his smell at one point I cried into his hay colored hair. Then he started to talk to me. He said that he had somethings to say to me. He told me that I did have a JLo booty but he said that guys liked that. Then he carried on by saying that there was nothing wrong with my boobs(I’m just the tiniest bit flat in that area) and that I shouldn't let one guy hurting me make me put myself down so much that I was beautiful and that I could do better than Doud. I told him that my attempts with Doud where over and that it was time for me to move on. (Look out world I’m in the find a boyfriend mode) Then I told him I’m glad he’s studied those to places of my body and asked him what else he’d been staring at on me. He turned red and pleaded the fifth. When I was about to get off he said that this may be the last time he saw me and hugged me and kissed my cheek then kinda tried to make his way to my mouth but stopped just as he was about to reach them. He apologized about scratching my face and said he’s shave soon. When I was getting up I took his face into my hands and contemplated kissing his mouth…then I decided that is the way you start things not end them…so I tilted his face and kissed his cheek. As I was about to get off he yelled call me and I yelled I didn’t have his number so he yelled it to me and I repeated it to myself as I walked home until I got home and could write it down. I haven’t called him…should I? (PLease hit my comment box marked play with me ot tag you're it or x ppl have been tagged and tell me what you think I should do)

Well It’s been a day and tomorrow will be even more crazy…man God help me…I hope I don’t make a fool of myself tomorrow

Today has been a day full of love and the rewriting of legends
Today Josh finally kneeled and kissed Liz’s hand(tear) I’d given him the idea months ago because he said he wanted to do something nice for her and I told him it didn’t have to be a gift. It looked so…natural like he’d practiced it a million times so he could do it just right. I watched him so I don’t know what Liz’s reaction was but he was smilin’ so big! I was so happy that he did that.
After that Peter got stung by a Bee twice and the Windex was the only thing that saved him...that damned bee hurt my Peter...grrr....(pulls our mega-bug-zapper)DIE!!
Next A certain individual had a certain change of heart which makes another individual very happy and may lead to a certain change in a certain feeling for another certain someone. If you didn’t get that then good you weren’t suppose to.
Last I told this one guy that I had a lil crush on him nothing major and he said he could have never guessed and that he didn't know what to say and I told him he didn't have to say anything that I didn't expect anythign from him I just wanted to tell him since tomorrow might be the last time I ever see him. Now I'm scared that he'll act weird tomorrow or he'll over analyze it I don't know what to do now...he helped me get over Doud and well I don't want him to be anything more than a friend and I'm worried he'll try to be. Like he helped me by telling me when ever I thought about Doud it was a waste of time and that I should look else where and well it was kinda like a push for me to move on with my life. Tomorrow is probably the last day I’ll see him…I waited this long so he wouldn’t do anything…God help him.
So tomorrow may be the last time I see most of my people…how messed up is that…the Army’s a B-I-B-I.
I feel...not empty...it all seems to have closure like...nothing has been left undone...like I'm ready…in an odd way. But hey 1 more day you know, one more day to smile that smile, one more day to see that cute boy, one more day to dream…one more day…that’s all anyone can ask for...

Open Music: "The Innocent" by Good Charlotte
QUIZ DAY AT THE JELLO HUT




what's your battle cry? |
mewing.net | merchandise!

That's so cute

Take the test here!! Made by Jenna and Robbie.

I got Miyaka EYES!! I think the GW eyes are coll and the Kenshin, bUt I am a lot like Miyaka what do you guys think?





What 8-Bit Theatre
character are you? at LeetAssQuotes.
NecroVMX

Feel the Goody-Two-SHoe-y ness


26% of me is filled with jealousy. Aren't you JEALOUS?

Okay that's normal

70%

I am 70% worshipable! And you? Find out!

Not as Godess-y as Cat but hey we can't all be perfect no can we?

Man that was fun...I'm really happy about the Miyaka eyes...(crosses fingers) God send me a Tamahome please!
I love guitars (please let me find a boy that can play the guitar like he’s just breathing air!) I think they’re awesome, but most guitar boys I think are cute are idiots or druggies. MAN A CHICK CAN’T WIN CAN SHE!!! Peter how is it on you wave length? I mean is it this much of a chore for you too? Lauren, Catherine how about you people how are your personal lives. And then Tim keeps calling me fat! I’m not fat am I? I’m really paranoid about that…and my ass…some guy said I have a big ass…well no he just called me JLo…he couldn’t have meant I have big hips…they aren’t big are they….and Peter don’t give me that child bearing hips BS…damn straight men. Liz…Q…Damn you both for having the men you do!! GRRRR what the hell happened to my boy!?! Who the hell screwed him up that way!?! Agh! I’m going to calm down before I make the monitor explode….be one with my chi…find my center.. Man…excuse my condemnation…fit …I need large quantities of sedatives. All of you feel free to laugh at me.
End Music:"My December" by Hybrid Theory

Umm well the following is something I just composed and sent to Peter but I think it's something that anyone that has ever cared about someone and not gotten exactly the same in return should read this. This update I think is for Peter.

Oh Peter…we are too alike with the people we choose to love aren’t we? You’d protect him no matter what wouldn’t you? You’d let no one slander his name in your presence, no whore would ever break his heart, no bastard dare use him…I have wonder though is it too much of a burden? I took that same burden for someone long ago or that’s the way it feels….a tall, scrawny, awkward boy at the time…now a sensuous, graceful, intoxicating man. Any woman he wanted I would retrieve, any moment of anger I would calm, any shadow of sadness I would destroy, and always awaiting his attention. One woman hurt him once when I was beginning to guard him, one woman, at the time she was my best friend and she knew what he meant to me and she took him anyway, I later found out it was a bet and the day after Valentine’s she dumped him. He’d gotten her roses candy a stuffed animal, spent a half an hour breaking into her locker to place them there until I came and of course opened it from him. He cried for ages and sunk into depression slipping father and farther away from me leaving a shell with no heart and no need of one…she was made an example of. No physical harm was done to her, if I got into a fight CHS wouldn’t take me, but I destroyed her mentality slowly and surely. Her’s and the person she’d made a bet with. I never liked girls they were ruthless and underhanded as am I. I called in favors from various males I’d helped at one time or another and spooned their own medicine down there throats. No woman ever hurt him after before there were many and they were handled accordingly. I know you must be like Kim God that’s not right, but a warning was issued they knew what they were getting into and I don’t make empty threats. I would be pure evil if that would take care of him, but I can’t say he would do the same for me. Time passed…when I heard he’d stolen I still loved him, when he confessed it was true I still loved him, when I heard he had been cheating on me I still loved him (something that has never been confirmed or denied), when I heard he’d slept with someone I cried and still loved him(something that he swears is a lie), because people need love the most when they are at their lowest but now…now I don’t know when enough is enough and I can’t tear myself away. Peter you and I are guardians to people who don’t seem to value it. They don’t see the traps we set to protect them, the people we deal with to keep them safe, they don’t see the dedication we have for them and only them. It’s a lonely life the one lead this way but we’ve adopted it perhaps at first by choice but now it’s sucked us in, the very idea of protection, perhaps engraving in to our very souls…and for what? For a simple glance? A small smile? A wink? God Damn such small trivial things to the rest of the world but to us…to us it’s everything. The rest of the world could blow up and you wouldn’t care as long as he was well. Why is it in this way that people must love? Is there no even trade? Must I be his little kitten for always? To never be anything more than the woman he falls back on? To take point and clear the way, and lay rose petals at his feet? Why will he not prove to me that he dissevers a fraction of this, any of this!? Such a burden Peter will tear you apart from the inside out…slowly and surely…the jealous will drive you mad…the loneliness will be your only companion late at nigh…tears will stain your pillow until the day of your death…or the day you give up on him whichever comes first. Peter I have lived in this Servitude for almost 4 years. All the demons know me and where to find me. They know the taverns I haunt, and the alleys I creep. They know what memories to bring back, they know what letters to cite, what phone calls to quote to bring me to nothing more than a shaking sobbing shell of a person. Peter don’t let this take hold of you as it has me all right? Know when enough is enough my friend, know when to let go.

Yeah... so I saved it as Rose Petals and when I sent it to Peter I called it With Rose Petals at His Feet and then I used a black background and red font...I don't know why I did that, but for the moment it just felt right well when I thought about it it I thought of Lauren...I don't know why, but I did...this update is for her too then...another person that insprires me to be a writer again. One day Lauren I'll ask you to read something I've written...not like this you know...different...

Okay well uneventful day sort of. I went running this mornig trying to work off the ice cream and caffine. I was doing good running in the forest admiring the scencery chilling out you know not really looking where I was going since I walk there everyday when I trip over something. Well good God it was 10 in the morning and I triped over a couple about ready to get it on.Barley dressed and surprised they screamed I screamed covered my eyes and tried to get up. After stubleing around they got completely dressed and I got up and I walked back home.Sad thing was I knew the girl which doesn't make me think less of her it just kinda shocks me. Whatever in anycase I don't ever want to go through that again. Well okay now to explain the massive like additions on the right. The first three are Fanifics I've been meaning to send Lauren and I was just to lazy to do it. The Last one is a web page of a very talented woman that inspired me to write my own fics. The link takes you direct to the fanfic section and then breaks it down into like Horror, Lemon, and Such. I recomend The Longest Kiss both types in the horror section and I started Broken dolls a while back. I really like her works but I haven't read many since they are so long. A New Meeting is a 1xR but in a tolerable way (it's so damn sweet ahhh)and Death's first Kiss is a sweet little multi pairs and Mirrors is just kick booty with multi-pairs. I think Lauren you should start with either Longest Kiss @ Tiffiny's or Mirrors both are not scary but you know blood, death, and such...Lauren just jump to Langest Kiss I love that one. Um...Yeah this update was mostly for Lauren :) Lauren I got my comment box up I'm so proud! Oh anyway none of the sroties are short so don't expect to get done. Well yeah anywho I'm going to go compile a list of music I want that the Loving, Cheritible, Attention Grabbing Peter has offered to do for me(I Love You!) Oh Peter's got a story I don't know if he'll post it but he's got a story! Well yeah...Catherine...sqeek :) Nori...I'm reading too many books at once. Good no one has been left out..no wait! Liz I got Happy Cookies Q...She just needs to die! (note that is not directed at Q that is a statment that Q said about a certain female that just needs to die) Love you all night!

You are Squall! A lone wolf with the weight of the world on your shoulders, you may not communicate your feelings to your friends, but you are a true friend to those you are close to. In spite of your hesitance to warm up to people, you're likely one hot number in the eyes of the opposite sex. Take the Final Fantasy 8 Test here!

That's the boy that I would be...me attract the opposite sex? No way

You are Ellone! Good-hearted and self-sacrificing,people often see you as what you are instead of who you are. You have special talents others envy, but those who take the time to know the real you will see you for the sweetheart that you really are. Take the Final Fantasy 8 Test here!

and here's the girl...special talents and envy...how off is this bloddy thing? Oh well they're all so darn cute! I never finished the game...I need to do that so I can find out how it ends I got to like the very beginning of Disk 4.

PETER'S NOT MAD AT ME!! PRAISE GOD!! I ate a pint of ice cream and drank 3 capachino's out of guilt and worry (and I cried now I feel stupid) Oh and Peter I don't recommend readin Steven King's It I started to read it somewhere after being pissed and eating the ice cream...well in the 2nd chapter they kill a gay guy in front of his lover...not cool but then again in the first chapter they kill an six year old. I mean personally I hate Steven King (see the end of the Princess Bride -the book-for reasons) and the only reason I'm readin IT(along with PaAstorl, Interview with a Vampire, and Kushell's dart--I kinda just pick up which ever one I see fiest and read it) is because I saw like 1/2 the movie and I want to know what happens. Well I'm kinda here waiting for midnight to get my flippin' coment box...I'm so freakin' tired...I've defined 153 vocab words for final in the last like hour...man I feel so releived I just want to hug Peter! Mega-Glomp you know.

Okay well this morning there was a lone attempt at trying to get a comment box but it said only 25 new people every 6 hours so I had to try again at 12. When I came back it said try again at 6. I'll just beg Lauren to do it. Well in anycase I got bored yesterday and decided to do damage control in the room and I found a Astrological Sign book so I read some of it and I found it amusing. I'm a virgo so let's see what it has to say about me.

"Virgos are analytical individulas who appreciate teh nobility of service. Your common-sense approach to life is based on values that resonare deeply in your character. You are an advocate of fair play. As far as you're concerened there is no such thing as a 'free lunch.'
Virgos are hard worker who refuse to take shortcuts when it comes to getting the job done. Whether you are boss or just an employee, you will do your job well without asking yourself whther there is credit or praise to be won from the effort.
You not only believe in old-fashined values, but ou embrace them wholeheartedly. Still, that doesn't keep you from moving ahead with the times in other ways. With your gift for anakytical problem-solving, computer skills come easily to you. Whatever your age, you see yourself as the consummate student, always excite about learning somethign new.
Mercury is your ruling planet, exerting a quixotic and sometimes unstable influence on you. Because of this, Virgos are known for being high-strung, excitable, and nervous at times. You are also a worrier, something that people who know you come to accept as part of your personality.

Because of your basically shy and retiring nature, it can be hard for others to get to know you . Your dignified persna can enven be a little off-putting to some. But when people look beyond the image you project they see a warm and giving person who strives hard to do the right thing. One of your best traits is a sense of humor that can even be a little naughty at times. You love to hock people with your jokes and obervations.

When appearance is concerned Virgo's cultivate a discreet elegance, You aren't interested in beings a slave to fashion preffering to showcase your quiet diescerning persona through timless fashion.

Strengths
fine orderly mentality
intelligent
bookish
wry sense of humor
dependable
loyal
refrains from being judgemental

Weaknesses
critical
sarcastic
insecure

Health
Caffine and Nicotine are very harmful to your sensitive body chemistry
Stress is your worst enimy
Yoga is the best exercis for you because it involves mind and body

Lucky things
Colors:Midnigh Blue, Mango, Sable, Cranberry
Number:6,12,22,34
Stoens:Sapphire, Period, Beryl, Jade
Day:Wednesday
Month:September
Cities:Los Angeles, Colorado Springs
Travel Spots: West Indies, Brazil, Crete
Professions:Communications, Accounting, REal Estate
Hobbies:Sewing, Yoga, Poetry
THe end
I wish I had read that Caffine is bad for the Virgo BEFORE the 3 cappichinos...11 now only 1 houf left! The box is comming!
Well anyway while I'm killing time I might as well rant about something more pointless than the negative effects that caffine beverages have on me...so okay here we go the female ritual of removing hairs from the legs. Okay as weird as this may seem I think this is a masochist act. I mean firstly if you shave(which I don't becuase I would probably end up mutalating myself and bleeding to death because I'm so clumsy) there;s cuts. And if you wax (what I do)It hurts like a mofo!(either the pulling of the hot hot hot wax) And either way there are times when you have to get into the stranges positions so as not to miss any hairs. Man...I don't know what made me think of that tangent...well Catherine Lauren comment on that in my new box that is comming soon in....45 minutes...okay I'm watching TV until then.
855 next morning
Okay I sat here and when it was 12 i clicked and do you know what happned? Error...AHHHHH Lauren I know I must be a bother but please do it for me

Yeah well I'm suppose to be with Peter but that went over like a lead ballon. I got instructions off the net(on Monday) to where the place was and I asked my mom to check over them and make sure they were right and well she said she would. Any boy did she at like 6 pm on Saturady(today) well that's when she figured out that the place was an hour and half away and she refused to go out there. Damn I was so mad I almost broke the vase(no not thrown, when I get really upset glass shatters around me when they said I couldn't talk to Doud anymore I broke all the glasses in the kitchen) Then I had to call Peter's aunt's place and I couldn't find him so I had to tell the random lady that picked up the phone what had happened. God that's not proper but I'm kinda glad I didn't have to hear his voice that would have killed me. God I never felt so small in my life God his family probably thinks so little of me.Then my mom tried to apologize for it and I told her to forget it I mean I don't want to tlak to her. Then well she kept trying and finally said I don't know what to say and I told her how about nothing. I mean what am I suppose to tell Peter on Tuesday? God how am I even suppose to look at him? Man I'm not mad because I didn't get to go I'm mad because I know I disappointed Peter and my life being one big disappointment after another I don't like having people I care about go through it too. God I'm not a little girl so my mom needs to back off with the 'I'm sorry's and the 'I know it's not fair' Life's not fair duh I'm not a kid but don't expect me to just be like oh it's okay geeze just give me some freakin time. What the Hell am I going to do Tuesday? Peter I know I don't deserve it but could you write me an e-mail or call me later please?

Music:"Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls
*That's there because this is one of my favorite song-massive guitar parts I love-and my friend Keith burnt it for me and I love him for it. This is the song me and my future husband are going to dance to-no matter how akward we look ;) *

Okay my people if you don't already know go to Peter's site and check me out(I look so cute!!) and there's a pic of Alan and Peter...which I think I'll let Peter keep as soon as I get a picture of just Peter.(Peter is MAD cute ;) ) There's another with me and Quita(I love that picture we both looks so drop dead gorgeous!) Well anyway, can I get someone with a nice non-dial-up connection and music download capability to get me some songs? I mean I can pay I just want a few songs. You know if anyone just feels like beyond sense charitible they can drop me a line and I'll give them a list.

Justin played his guitar on the bus and it was so cool. Now everytime I hear Nervana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" I'll think of him. He's so sweet (good-lookin' too)if he wasn't Doud's friend and if he wasn't moving and if he I knew nothing about how much of a freak he was I would so shoot after him...but no he has to be all that.

We finally finished Monoke Hime Today. I loved watching it with the class not with the die hard anime ppl(sorry guys) it was more for the anime virgins. Like Mamie going "aww" everytime San and Ashitaka had a moment and Keith loved the gore and he has a very distince laugh so it was so weird to hear that and people screaming in pain and Ben(as much as I hate him it made me smile) laying on the floor and not breathing when the battle started. He didn't breath at all it was so charming and he looked like he was going to get up and save San at one point when Okoto kinda sucked her in trying to turn her into a demon too.

Josh said the cutest thing today at lunch when we were teasing him about Liz and asked him why they weren't dating. He said, "I don't want to date her I just want to marry her!" I laughted so hard because I understood that statement while the others where like "huh?"

Anyway Peter and I are spending tomorrow afternoon together and I'm kinda nervous. Like I hope I dress ok and I hope I make a good impression. I hope my gift is okay. Like there are just certain culture gaps too. I mean I'm first generation off the island so like I have some habbits I keep out of signs of respect from my culture that people sometimes find odd. Not like weird things just little things. Like in PR when you have someone visit you entertain either in the poarch or living room or den or kitchen but like in some American families like with teenagers they usually hang out in the bedroom(which in my homeland is just not done) Also one never visits with out being invited or calling in advance and with some people that is just not the case. It's strange it's like being too Puerto Rican for the Americans and too American for the Puerto Ricans. Oh well everyday is an adventure you know?

Well anyway I think I've ranted more than adequetly...because nothing really of importance happened today. Well anyway I'm going to sleep I think...or watch Ever After or My Best Friend's Wedding or A Life Less Ordinary yeah okay not going to sleep obviously. Well night guys!

Well...this day has been painful in various ways like that SCANime movie we had to watch in 4th. Good God some peopl have the nerve to call that anime. It was a mix of Tin Tin, Megaman, and so many Outlaw Star references that it was like having your teeth pulled out 1 by 1 with no pain killers. I have Monoke hime in my bag for damage contol. Then there was the brused hand which is still acting up. Then well there's another thing but I'll save that for later because it goes with an inspired work I'm messing with now once I finish it I will explain. It will not be happy but it will be honest and soulful as all my works are but then again aren't all of our works. I don't have much of any news today just the damn Doud usuals that I'll save that for later I'm sure you're all tired of it. I leave you in anticipation til later days!

Well after lots of thought I'm going to dismiss that lil kiss incident as hormones not that I'm over it and all is not forgiven I just need an explanation to get some sleep tonight. I think just a little self conrtol wouldn't kill him you now. Oh well no use pinning.Well Liz sent me this and I though it was funny.

As the Sign of Service, one of Virgo's favorite roles is to be of help to friends and lovers. The industrious, efficient and well-organized Virgo will rarely have trouble pulling this off, and a banquet at their hands will mean an evening of delectable treats. Ruling Planet Mercury symbolizes Communication; Virgos are possessed of an ability to reason clearly, resolve issues and take a romance to new heights. Virgo can, at times, be shy and a bit repressed, so someone who can bring them out of these depths will be rewarded with a vibrant lover. Concerned with health as they are, a doctor-nurse fantasy is the max for this Sign!

So...in other words once I find a good man I will no longer be quiet and reserved I will be a freak of sexual nature...oh yeah that's just scarry. Anyway hopefully today goes well. I'm so glad Lauren finished her project I remember that project, I hated that project, I burned that project. Anyway I have to go and finish my nice cup of Puerto Rican style coffee(used very much like Green Tea at this house--calm down and get along) buy guys.

Well another day another mishap...Doud tried to kiss Q knowing she has a boyfriend. Who is this human being? This is not the boy I fell in love with three years ago...man. I mean I really think that he has chaged for the worse. I remember when all he was was a tall skrawny boy that need a hair cut. When I saw the if's and not the ares...what happened to that boy? Where did he go from sweet, innocent, and gentle, to this...this...God I can't think of another word, this monster! I in all honesty want to handcuff him to a chair, sit on him lap, put one arm around his shoulder and with the other point a Swiss army knife to his Atom's apple and demand answers and if they are not to my liking he's not going to enjoy the concequesnces. He's no longer a Cheerleader due to the fact that it wold interfer with his summer job of being a life guard(women in even less clothing) Oh man what in the world? Quita thought that maybe saying I'd found another guy would perhaps make him respond better. I laughted at that though(me have a boyfriend and him being jealous both very funny things) I don't know I don't think it's right to use someone just to make him jealous and I shouldn't have to make him feel that way to get his attention. Being jealous is a horrible feeling. This is so infuriating I mean most mean would kill to have a woman love them the way I love him and yet he's content to bounce from female to female. Ahh I need a new hunt. Once when I first met him my friend said I treated find a boyfriend like an assian would treat hunting down his targert. I stuided the boy for months before I even spoke with him. I knew his usual haunts, old girlfriends worht talking to, guys he was on the team with, I knew almost everything before we even introduced myself. And I want to know what's wrong with going out with a person that knows you? Alan and Q where talking about that at lunch and I was utterly confused by such a mind set. What's wrong with going out with someone that's been there for you or knows what kind of person you are? What's with going out and having to make a whole new person understand who you are and what you believe? I mean there's nothing wrong with an outsider once in a while but don't slam a door on friends that may grow to be more than friends. Man I'm just rambeling. I'm going to finish up something and collect my thoughts and then come back and write something that makes sense. sorry if this has confused anyone.

Well I saw Star Wars on Saturday good movie much better than Spiderman.(at least casting wise Anikan was SOOOO Cute!) On to more important and troubling events. Alan’s being stupid or…at least that’s my take on it. I’m angry with him beyond words. Like firstly what is his deal I mean why couldn’t he just tell Peter where he was going? Why did Kim have to go and play spy(of my own free will Peter didn’t ask me) I mean I thought they were better friends than that. And Geeze why won’t he talk to Peter? I know it must bother him, but Peter is proud and a little stubborn but I have to admire the fact that he hasn’t given in to Alan’s childish tantrums. I mean come on you can’t just stop talking to someone and expect them to bend to your will. Another thing it’s not like no one’s told him to have a civil conversation with Peter. I nagged him all period on Friday about him being childish and a coward and that he needed to at least talk to Peter because in all respects I think Alan is weak and easily manipulated. Besides I was not going to tell Peter to give in to Alan’s tantrums. Anyway enough being …I don’t know whatever word in English you’d use to describe this. I redid the layout…I really never considered using this show but hey why not. It’s like Ranma ½ sort of anyway. Comedy/Romance

The series begins with an impending invasion of Earth. The leader of the invasion agrees withdraw if an earthling can defeat his opponent in a game of tag. The earthling chosen happens to be Ataru Moroboshi, the most lecherous lout in the universe. Ataru refuses until he finds out that his opponent, Lum, is a beautiful girl.
Ataru's attempts to grab Lum's horns (and also her body) fail miserably until his semi-girlfriend Shinobu promises to marry him if he wins. Inspired by that declaration, Ataru succeeded in grabbing Lum's horns (it also helped that Ataru stole Lum's bikini top during the contest). However, due to a big misunderstanding, Lum thought Ataru's marriage proposal was meant for her. And things get weirder from here as Lum's friends drop by for a visit.

I thought it was a cute idea I just didn’t approve of Lum’s choice of wardrobe, but I’m a sucker for Funny love and Elf-like ears. Well yeah it went through many transformations. Like 1st I was going to do a Wild Cardz layout but not enough pictures, then I was going to do a Angel Myth layout not enough pictures, and then the problem kept repeating itself. Finally I was like “well…the lady did write Ranma let’s give it a go.”

Anyway this week has been a long one mainly just the daily spats with Ben (the evil doped up one) and I’d hardly call it a battle of the wits he’s too stoned to think up a comeback. I mean he’s one of those guys that whenever he looks at you he either seems to be imagining you undressed or staring at your breast and I might be confusing it with just being high but in anycase I don’t want him looking at me. I despise him and if he would just keep his head down it would suit me just fine. I mean you think a guy would get a clue when you give him a death glare and insult him repeatedly. some people are so stupid I wish he’d drop dead and #1 stop polluting the good oxygen with his high air and #2 stop using the air intelligent people could use better.

I don’t care how mean that sounded I mean I know I preach acceptance but like I said only if it’s not hurting anyone. Now if this boy was born with the habit because of his mother that’s a different story this is him by choice slowly killing himself. I have no pity for such actions and just today I saw a 10 year old smoking a joint out here where I live I don’t care how bad his life is that’s not a solution that’s adding to your problems…damn I’m being self righteous again aren’t I? This is what all those warm fuzzy anime’s do to you that’s one Digimon too many and about a season too many of Sailor Moon. Oh well no use trying to fix it now.

I LOVE Peter’s new layout it’s just so…I don’t know Peter really. Like charming in a subtle way. Lauren’s Blog look as good as ever. I would be Nny if I didn’t have any self control. Lauren is not a weak woman she is just…too grown for her peers. I at times have that problem except I’m the youngest of many of the groups I hang with. I think Experience has taught us in very different ways but still the same lessons. Perhaps we are too serious, then again aren’t all artist(I use this term to mean Writers, Poets, Musicians, Actors, and Artists) I think you have to have a certain amount of inner torture to be any of these. I think a lot of it is born from parent’s either not being supportive or not understanding that your medium(art, pen, stage, instrument) is just a way of releasing frustration and pain.

Man…why should mere children have to learn all these lessons? Can’t we just be happy? Even for just a little while? No strings of loneliness, no puppeteer, just simple unlimited happiness. Like when we were young and the world was still new and pink full of surprises and possibilities not like now the world is harsh and old and gray and restrictive. We are bound by it’s laws and unable to express ourselves without being reprimanded. How do people live like this and who has the audacity to call this life?

Who knows…maybe we’re just all unhinged. Oh which reminds me people I saw the best independent film this weekend it’s called A Life Less Ordinary, It’s the sweetest little movie. Basically these two case worker angels have to hook up these two people and well the guy is so down on his luck you want to hug him and the chick is so well to do you want to shoot her. The guy kidnaps her by accident so he doesn’t really know what he’s doing. Plus he’s so sweet to her and she’s such a bitch to him. He saves her life like twice and it’s so sweet. If anyone would like to burrow it I taped it. Of course I’m a sucker for a romantic comedy like I said.

Haha...what to do? Irony is so...poetic isn't it? You think one thing will happen and the opposite does, you think a person feels on way and act upon that and the reverse seems to be in play...so confusing, so agrivating, so wrong. Well my friends he has decided to make his prescence known to me again. Yesterday was I not full of dout? Did I not say that fate usually hands me items to erase such an emotion? Haha...the Angel regrets...or so it seems. I don't know what to think to give him a second chance or to drop him...let me clearify. Today I got on the bus chipper as possible at that early hour and Quita hands me a CD player and says that Doud sent this song over for me to hear. The song is as follows:

Artist: Backstreet Boys
Album: Black And Blue
Title: It's True

Even a lover makes a mistake sometimes
Like any other
Fall out and lose his mind
And I'm sorry for the things I did
For your teardrops over words I said
Can you forgive me and open
your heart once again, oh yeah

It's true
I mean it
From the bottom of my heart
Yeah, it's true
Without you I would fall apart

Whatever happened
I know that I was wrong, oh yes
Can you believe me
Maybe your faith is gone
But I love you and I always will

So I wonder if you want me still
Can you forgive me and open
your heart once again, oh yeah

It's true
I mean it
From the bottom of my heart
Yeah, it's true
Without you I would fall apart

I'd do anything to make it up to you
So please understand
And open your heart once again

It's true
I mean it
From the bottom of my heart
Yeah, it's true
Without you I would fall apart

I never went through the BSB *NSYNC fetish but this song brought me to tears on the bus. I was angry because I was trying to forget him and he made me remember, I was angry because he ignored me for so long, I was angry because he wasn't there at that moment to hold me and say it was okay. I hated him I loved him All the emotions thrown together made me unable to keep comtol. Soon Quita tried to make me feel better but soon remembered her love that was gone and we both sat there crying leaning on each other sharing our pain, mourning the abscence of our boys, cleasing a sorrowilled soul, cleaning out festering wounds. How do I react to that? The individual unstairs needs to figure out what he wants me to do! Freak...I'm emotionally tired as I'm sure others of you (Peter, Lauren) are. I think we all just need a lot of love. Something I think most of us have been deprived. What do I do...just as I close my heart to him he asks for forgiveness. I have lost faith, I have shed to many tears why should I give him another chance? But...but if he didn't deserve it then why did that happen today? Why not a month from now? It happens the day after...what do I do...I just don't know...

The Divine Comedy that is my life...I sometimes wonder if I serve a greater purpose than the cliché average Joe. Numerous incidents happening in a row lead me to believe that whoever's running the show upstairs has taken a strange interest with me. I mean I’m hardly a religious person. I really don’t understand much of it especially if people are being killed and prejudiced over it. I’m not saying I don’t believe in God( you think this place is keepin it together with out some help?) I’m saying that maybe there’s more than one way to believe in him. I think of it in a few simple ideas. Like with people’s differences, you don’t have to understand them just accept them. I may not understand why they do things but as long they don’t hurt anyone I can accept it. And you know like you have a conscience to tell you right from wrong use it. But anyway I think that whoever is running the show likes me.

Like mostly it's the spastic psychic glitches where I just know stuff. But lately it’s been more. This week mostly . Like I made the resolve to let go of my Angel that there’s no use trying to breath life into a relationship gone this awry. Then the Russian appears and serves as somewhat of a distraction. Then yesterday I decided to sit down and write (something I haven’t done in ages) but nothing would come to me(I have to be emotionally stirred to write) and I kind of got frustrated on with myself. I haven’t written in months and I seriously began to wonder if because I had forsaken my talent in just being a conformist and saying “sure mom and dad I won’t be a writer.”

So today I found out that one of my classes got dropped because not enough people signed up and had to go to guidance. So while trying to figure out what to do My Counselor Mrs. Nelson asked me what I wanted to do with myself and I know I stiffened up quite a bit. I told her I didn’t know once I did but not anymore. With that I got angry and sad and hurt and tears started to fall from my eyes. She asked me to explain. I told her that my parents weren’t very supportive and that I wanted to be a write once but I’d given up on that. She then told me that I should follow my heart because obviously writing meant a lot to me and that I wouldn’t cry unless it did. So with that she told me how she had wanted to be a doctor once and someone had told her no and she listened. And that it had worked out okay but she sometimes wonders what it would be like if she had become a doctor. I stared at my schedule for a while and laughed bitterly as I told her that my parents didn’t approve of most of the classes I was taking. She nodded I guess not really knowing how to respond to that and then said that I had passion.

I looked at her kinda scared or at least that’s how I felt. I don’t get compliments very often and when I do they bother me or more on target scare me. I don’t think there’s anything special about me. Then I asked her to explain. She that by looking at my schedule she saw that I had passion that while other people took buffer classes I refused to even consider them. She said that that would take me far and that it was what would get me out of bed in the morning. I stared at my schedule I still need one more class. So I asked her about writing courses. I decided to take Writer’s Workshop/Journalism a year long class meaning I’d have to drop Japanese 3. I thanked her for her time and went to class.

Later that day I asked Peter if I was important to him because I kept getting ignored by various other people. I seriously have a huge issue with being ignored and being lonely. So he said yes of course very much so. I was glad to hear that but I had to wonder if it was just Peter being Peter and being nice. So then on the bus ride home Justin grabbed me and made me sit with him. I knew that he gets tired of sitting with the Fox and that I think he enjoys me tame, elder sister, demeanor at times. We talked and acted like brother and sister such as bickering over music and who was stronger and such. Soon though the tone grew more serious as I asked about Angel. He said he hadn’t spoken to him in weeks. I nodded and scolded myself for not just forgetting about him. So he looked at me and asked if I’d gotten over him. I told him that no I hadn’t because if I had I wouldn’t ask about him and I wouldn’t want to cry when I thought about him. He looked at me and then hugged me fiercely he said he was sorry. Then he put his head in my lap trying to go to sleep. A few minutes later he looked up at me and said Thank You. At first I was confused and didn’t know what was going on. So I asked him what he meant. He sat up and said that I’d always been there for him and that I always listened and gave advice when he asked. Then he got quiet and said ‘well just thank you I never thanked you before.’ With that he leaned over and kissed my cheek. I smiled and I think I blushed and told him that was the first kiss on the cheek I’d gotten in like two years. He looked at me astonished.

By then it was time for me to go.

Well it seems whenever I feel doubt something happens that erases it…except with Angel…When I thought Josh and I were drifting apart something happened that cemented our friendship together and resulting on him later thank me for introducing him to his future wife…when Q and I almost had fall out some how it solved itself.…perhaps…perhaps Doud and I weren’t meant to be…perhaps if we were this doubt wouldn’t plague me…something would happen and allay my fears and worries…but nothing has…and I think nothing will…but I have no regrets…none at all…I have my happy memories and I think now it’s time to make new ones with some one else. I think maybe now I’m ready to let go. Beside with things like the balloon story happening on day to day basis I’m kinda busy :)

People well someone throw me a bone here I want to change this place but still keep the Sanctuary theme(it means a lot to me) so If anyone know of any anime or things that perhaps have various angel or goddess qualities send me an e-mail because Rhapsody is still cute but I need something fresh and with the end of the school yeah upon us I think it's time for change. I don't care it they are dark, happy, or whatever just give me Ideas or I'll be fores to go with a Good Charlotte layout and that is not what you people want I'm more than sure. So anyone can put in there two-bits.

Well right now I'm printing out somethings for 3rd block and I still need to rewrite my term paper and print it and well my bro has this school thing and as much as I hate such functions I go because well in the abscence of a father I kind of take that role you know the person other than Mom that's there. Enough excuses for now.

How was today spent you may ask, well let's ponder the bus ride was fun as always, the classes sucked,NO WAIT we had an assembly! Good God whoever planned that one was an idiot we were so raowdy it was great.

The Russian and I had another encounter very amusing. Let me give some exposition. Well The Russian is a tall boy about 6'1'' or 6'2'' tan skin not very though very close to my own carmel skin tone and also dark hair. Not built rather scrawny and akward but the potential is there. The whole of ther persona got my attention (because I have an simplistic attraction to men in the height range of 5'10'' to about 6'3'' me being 5'8'' I like taller guys) but it's more the expression that he always has on his face that catches my attention.Not a thought of thoughtless zombie like inward thinking like the rest of the populous (including myself) so bored with life's mundane routines that they perform them automatically, but more outward to the world. As if in a scattered paranoia kind of way like taking in everything around him before becoming calm or at least appearing so in his enviroment (very much like Heero Yuy actually). I like that it gives him a certain mystery about him...but then again I view life with Romantic Eyes where everything has hidden meaning a depth...I'm a hopeless romantic someone save me from myself.

My first encounters where you know those ones in the hallway the oh he's nice looking kind. Then I was called to the counseler's office one afternoon over my schedual for next year and he was there. Well there was no where to sit so I proped in the doorway practically right in front of him. We caught each other staring more than once, but we both had faces of indifference. Then the next day I was sitting in class half asleep and he walked by the door and looked at me (a look of recognicion) I thought little if anything of it. Then on his way back he stared in again this was...I don't know a different look. Then Today at the Assembly Of Agst I had situated myself with friends and there was an epmty seat at the end of the row. Well I looked up and saw him kind of scan the room I assume looking for a friend with this distressed look on his face. Then he locked eyes with mine and kind of looked at the seat at the end of the row and I nodded and he sat. We continued to stare and then he looked foward as if focusing on what was happening on stage. Then later same day I almost tripped over him at his locker. (How does such a tall boy get a bottom locker?) As he opened his locker I noticed two things 1)either he had a really bad memory or his locker jammed horribly or it was one of few times he'd used his locker because he was fighting to open it. 2) either he's the neatest man ever or he never uses the thing because it was completely empty inside.

Perhaps Lady Fate is tired of me living in such a lonely state and has thrown this not fully developed creature in front of me because she knows I see the maybes and not the what ares. Then Kawaii started bothering me about it. She said she's never seen me interested in anyone and it was strange. I asked her what she menat and she said she couldn't explain it she said that it took a lot to get my attention and thus it was interesting. I mean there's just a few scatter brained encounters nothing major I mean I'm not interested he's just got my attention in a wondering sort of way. Like is this guy as deep as I perseve him to be? I wonder what a conversation would be like with him. Hmmm oh well no use contemplating the useless hm? Well anyway I've rambeled more than enough I have to grammar check the Term Paper and Okay Kawaii's murder story. Night People Later

Whoa it's almost been a week ah shame on me. I have good excuses I've had to do a term paper and there was that afternoon with Peter. Peter's great I like hanging out with him. It's not all silly fun it's more like let critise in a fun kinda way. Anywho other than that I've been mentally pinning over My Angel I refuse to make my pain public in a verbal way. Well carrying on I'm

You are 30% evil! [?]

You're still on the good side of 50%, but you're gaining on it. You're not as good as you should be, but you're good ALMOST all of the time. There's only an occasional time when evil takes over you, but when it does...

There's something rather hard to believe, right guys? Someone e-mail me on that one. And

Which Kiss Are You?

That's belittleing in the sense that it's so true. One day I'll just go bad oh well I'm going to be on my merry way I have to do work.

So Yeah Do to people who have read the comic (Spider man was done to that not the cartoon) I take back my rant. Because I only read the 1st issue of the comics and people say the cartoon was a far fetch from the comic.Pardon me for my ignorance. But still Peter was a geek. Lauren don't worry you weren't bitchy. Well hey due to me being too tired to rant I'm gonna put up some stuff I've been meaning to post.

This is for everyone who has ever had to love in secret, in darkness, and has wished they could love in the light.
Artist: Smashing Pumpkins
Album: Machina/the machines of God
Title: With Every Light

Taking over, we're taking over
Throw the weight up off your shoulders now
That we can show our love

It's almost over, it's almost over
No more war and no more soldiers
To stand against his love

Away with all the troubles that you've made
Away with waiting for another day
Away

Look ma, the sun is shining on me
Impatient in love and aching to be
Could you believe in heaven
If heaven was all you had?

We're taking over, we're taking over
Throw away your four-leafed clovers
And stand beside this love

Away with everything you've grown to hate
Away with everything that holds you safe
Away

And every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me

Every light light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
Every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
I'm never alone

Look ma, the sun is shining on me
Taking my time to do as I please
Could you believe in heaven
If heaven was all you had?

The sun is beaming, radiating
All the love we are creating
We are creating

And every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
Every light light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
Every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
Every light I've found
Is every light that's shining down on me
I'm never alone

And a poem for those of us that have love anyone.
Nature Boy
(Author and or Artist Unknown)

There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he

And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things
fools and kings
This he said to me

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return"

More Pop culture but in a day to day life form.
Well in 2nd block every day Liz and I pass notes back and forth no matter what. Most common subjects are Josh, Angel, stuff we plan all that good stuff well this note was a little different and I think it's worth posting on the web. Mostly I was telling her about an Angel update and I got frusterated.
Kim:I found out Angel is now a cheerleader and he has 3 maybe 4 girl's phone #s (I know it's stupid but you know how I am)
Liz: That's nothing to be upset aboutthough. Phone #'s are Phone #'s
Kim: That's not what bothered me. what bothered me was 1)His hands on another chick(s) 2) Did he hask for these #'s or was he just innocent and those hoes just give those to him? Yeah but I'm okay...sort of.
Liz: Well it's an abrupt change for him to go from big macho football/soccer/runner/ROTC person to cheerleader. But maybe he's just proving thath he's capable of achieveing things all aroun. Then again he likes girls. And being in cheerleaing there's lots of girls :) I'm sorry I'd be kinda worried too but hey that's him. He's gonna be a chick magnet anyway. Who told you this anyway?
Kim: Q It was one of those moments in life where I wanted to disembowel him or drown him in a pool of his own blood. But yeah I just wante to know what he was thinking when he decided to do that...I'm tired of this...I mena geeze Why do I care so much?
Liz: Because you think you(crosses out think and you) love him.
Kim: Yeah that's right I think I use to know ...(sigh) crap this game bores me I want out.
Liz: Well get out then. Tell him you're tired of being the girl he can always fall back on. Either he should devore himself to you or stop speaking those words of love that keep your hopes up and create dreams for your future. Take it or leave it. It's all or nothing. No more games. Kim you do know that after you move you will eventually lose contact w/him right? Unless the two of you are truley meant to be married and all then you may never see him again:( I'm sorry to say that or make you think tthat way but Kim you know I'm right(sigh) I don't mean to make you sad. The truth hurts It hurts like hell and you usually refuse to see or believe it. But let me stop talking
Kim: I'm not upset actually I feel nothin because I know it;s true. I mean I'm tired of day dreaming. I'm tired of being his pet. It drives me up the wall. The thing is that in his presece I have no strength, but HA come Act. it's freakin' over. A whole new set of guys he won't have any idea what I'm doing (and I'm sure he doesn't care) and damn him whatever he does, I'm tired no more chances. GAME OVER YOU LOSE. Once upon a time he could have gotten anything from me but now I'm tired of hunting him. Let him have his whores, he's lost the lady.

That's about where it ended. I wrote most of that out of pure anger..but to think of it I will give him a sporting chance. He once told me that he would look for me to the day he died if I left him. That if I married any man except him he would win me back and show me his love. Well I guess he'll be put to the test. If he can find me I'll give him a second chance. Think of it as a long term hide and go seek. If anyone thinks this is f**ked up send me an e-mail I feel scatter brained and perhaps I'm being rash. Please any opinoins would be appreiciated you know where to find me.

Okay I'm sorry time for some teenage pop culture driven ranting.
Spiderman sucked! Sorry to burst your bubble people but it did not rock in anyway.
Reasons as followed

Character/Casting
Okay who the hell casted this movie?
Peter--Oh my God who is this idiot and why did they pick him? Firstly I think they totally over did Peter Parker the science geek angle. I mean Parker could have been a little nerd ish but not a weak whimp. In the cartoon Peter is a tall, deep voiced strong man. A force to be reconed with, a strong commanding character. Sadly live action Peter was weak, his voice was like that of a 13 year old boy going through puterty, short, weak actor, and not at all attractive. Through out the movie I kept thinking that Peter looks just like Ed Piplaski. I've taken the liberty of compling a list of better choices
Ben Aflak(my mom who is certified to make this call she has been watching Spiderman with me since the show started)
The dude from Boys and Girls
My fav idea though was Matt Dameon

Mary Jane
Oh crap...well geeze I just didn't like her. Mary Jane in the cartoon was also a strong chacrater a force to be delt with. From her, "Hey Tiger" and just flat out spunky attitude (I loved her!). The MJ of Live action was...well the typical pretty chick the geek falls for and then needs rescuing every 2 seconds. All the women that could fit this postion wouldn't look nice with that aweful red hair.

Goblin
That you GOD a strong actor! This Man moved the story with out him I would have fallen asleep. Acting as to characters at once one evil and strong the other timid and submisive is no easy task. Perfect performance. He was what made me stay in Spiderman and not sneak into Scorpion King.

Costumes
These were all good except MJ's(except for this one red dress) and Peters. MJ had on the lowest possible low cut shirts the were mid drift revealing and I have no problem with that excepte I didn't neet to see her underwear for a good 10 minutes of the movie. Then there's this one rain scene...lets just say everyone in the movie thearter knew that MJ was cold. Peter...well Peter needed some freakin' color! all he wore was Blue or Black and everything was baggy so if he had a build there was no way of knowing it.

Sequence
Oh man this was okay but Parker's background info took forever to end. Then there's the wresteling thing, Parker was doing that to help his aunt and uncle in the cartoon not in the flick oh no he was doing it to get a car to impress MJ. I think they should have had I don't know Peter at 25 not like 18. More mature and aquianted with his powers and done all the BG through Flashbacks.

Well that's enoguh of that I was not at all happy with this...then again X-men didn't do so good in my rating either...or Tomb Raider....Street Fighter did though. Oh well I'm dissatisfied. So I'm leaving. Later

Okay well since no one has written me yet (I'll atribute it to the chorus trip) I guess I'll tell one of my stories.

I remember it was sometime in the spring when I was 9 or 10. We lived in Lousiana and most people didn't know what a Hispanic was let alone a Puerto Rican. So they thought I was mixed. So after being called things like half-nigger and dark white girl I decided I'd better explain to my classmates where I was from. So I did, with the help of Angie, a girl from Niciruaga, Lam, a boy from Vietnam, and Alejandro, a boy from Argentina, we opened their eyes to it not just being black and white people. Sadly at that time many movies were comming out portraying the Latin woman as being a whore that was only good for taking advantage of.
So as I started Spring when I was 9 or 10 we were standing in the lunch line and a boy behind me grabbed me around the waist. I remember him whispering something in my ear but I can't remember what but his hands were beginning to roam. At that point I elbowed him hard and threw him on the ground. From there I can't remember much the rage took over and I remember someone had to carry me off of him and then I started crying.
We both got ISS but I had to complaints I'm happy to say that no one every touched me again at that school. Sadly now whenever I go into the lunchroom I always have a fit of paranoyia, and when a guy gets close to me I kind of act on instinct and strike him before I realize who it is. It's one of the many reasons I'm so closed up and defensive of myslef not a major one but one none the less. And that is my contribution to the cause. Here is one candel lit in the Sanctuary with a prayer attached to it hoping that no one has to go through that ever again.





Umm...sorry whiny girly not so serious text here:
Umm...Lauren wants $ for stuff(see Rose Path) and I turned the web upside down and prices are high and items are scares, and to add I need um somewhere in thoe household of um $600("ish"--quote Peter, who I'm sure would liek som cash to) but you know so not to sound greedy I just want $110. No, no let me explain I just want The Fushigi Yuugi DVD (boxset one and two and ovas) which is like $450. Yeah the $110 is for Megatokyo merchandise....yeah okay in other words offer me $. I please I can make notebooks(and write), Peter can draw, Lauren can write(and draw), we're all just a bunch of starving artists so please pay us.
End Whine

Prejudice. Hate. Discrimination.
All pretty ugly words, but you know what's worse the feelings that are brought by them. Then the hardest decision is what to do about it. Run? Let them win? Oh no I have too strong a character to do that.
The guy that gets up and goes to school while jeers of 'faggot' and 'queer' ring in his ears from the hostile phone call the night before. Every glance screams paranoia with the unknowing of who is gunning for his life. The ignorance that surrounds someone making them hates him for simply loving. Love what God gives each and everyone one of us. Love that some bigot would destroy for the simple reason as because it's not a bimbo girl that would give herself to him every night that he's in love with no it's a gentle fair eyed boy.
The girl that rides the bus and is shunned by the Caucasians and by the African Americans because she is neither she is from a small Spanish speaking island in the Caribbean. Phrases like "Spic", "Migrant Worker", "Cheap labor", "Cheap Whore" that would chisel away at self image and confidence of any weaker woman but she takes them in stride and works to better herself.
The boy who does not prey to our God, but another one. One that requires more than just a church trip on Sunday and Wednesday but demands several prayers a day. This boy is condemned by the mass because of people he has no relation to, no knowledge of, just a resemblance of suicidal terrorists.
Who are mere mortals to judge these people? Who are they, you ask? I would love to sum it up in one word. Most would say Rednecks, Preps, and God only knows what other "Genre" a human being can fall into. But with that statement you've become one of them. Everyone has enough of their faults in character without having to be judged because of their emotions or heritage or the color of their skin or the God they prey to. This is a Sanctuary. A Place of Peace. No one will be cast away unless they would cast aside another. Judgment is not the task of mortals if it was then there would be no need for God. Of course without evil there is no need for hope. Then that is what I want. A place where hope is not needed…because everything we could ever want is right here. Hate is a disease, don’t let it become an epidemic, vaccinate yourself with acceptance of others even if you lack understanding as to why they are different.

Okay my people to inform you. A friend of mine has been having some trouble on the question of his sexuality. Which I have no idea what it is but it's no one's business but their own. But because of this harassment he is probably leaving. I'm making a request anyone with a story to tell please sit down write it and send it to me. I'll try to post one maybe two a day depending on lenght. When I feel we have enough I'll tell him to take a look at this page in an attempt to show him he's not alone and perhaps to get him to stay. Please those of you that know this boy don't tell him I would like that honor.
melancholy_angel@anime-genesis.com